December 2008
topics for which there are no greeting cards
“thanks, dad, for getting us all that liquor wholesale.”
from my friend cameron’s blog:
The morning after Christmas Day one of my dearest friend’s 11 year old daughter died. It was completely out of the blue, and no one knew why. She was a beautiful and lively little girl who had no symptoms until she developed a fever around 11:00 pm on Christmas. It turns out what she had was Asplenia. Something I had never heard about until now....
i guess i'm just not meant to wear bright red...
i look like a crackwhore clown.
“i’m listening to angie talk about goats peeing in their mouth”
– becky
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
jaimie just said that the jonas brothers look like middle eastern lesbians.
Hey, Atlanta Tumblrs...
defeatism:
Go to HOT DAMN Trois this weekend. Don’t forget to say hi to Matty and Kristen because they’re super nice, pretty people. (Although I’m partial to Kristen because she’s the only Mod Dance Party DJ that’s ever served me whisky.)
Cost is $7 and everything gets started around 9 p.m. The Soul Shakers will perform at 11:30 p.m. The Highland Inn Ballroom Lounge. 644 North Highland Ave....
“lemme know who still hasnt paid and ill go after their kneecaps with a bottle of...”
– i really need to evolve past puns.
new favorite thing
banana samosas from YOUR dekalb county farmers market.
i shall title my memoir “silhouetting mickey rourke’s ass, and other stories.”
no fucking duh →
modthrash:
must be a slow news day. as if anyone thought “virginity pledges” would keep teens from fucking like rabbits. just ask the jonas brothers.
i had a dream last night that the youngest jonas brother and i developed a friendship. which is bizarre, as everyone knows my favorite jonas is the older, homelier one.
help me decode this, tumblr
my dream from a couple nights ago:
i had to lay out the legal ads page at my old paper, but to do this i had to plow a field. like, if i had to extend a column of text to the bottom of the page, i had to plow a row of the field until i reached the southernmost border.
“i was just quoting what i said on the internet.”
– rebecca, after i made fun of her for saying “lol” out loud, earnestly. so now i am quoting her defense of something she said on the internet ON THE INTERNET.
“i’m waiting for the man,” belle...
RNC chairman candidate defends 'Barack the Magic... →
um, fyi old white dude, just because it’s racist doesn’t mean it’s satire. you should probably stick to trying to get crazy people elected.
first harold pinter, then eartha kitt?
just to drive home how batshit “to heck with ole santa claus” is, here’s a bit of the chorus:
When he goes dashin’ through the snow I hope he falls I like to hit him in the(ho ho ho) with a bunch of big snowballs
you guys, that is insane! lynn qualifies her agression by mentioning that santa didnt bring the protagonist anything in her stocking last year. you want to...
“to heck with ole santa claus,”...
in the 20 minutes it took for me to leave the office to run an errand, all the pizza the office ordered for lunch has been eaten. bah motherfucking humbug.
“it’s like the third act of “les mis” — empty chairs at...”
– derek, on my office
fun fact
big boi from outkast owns a fish named billy ocean.
“aside from journalists losing their jobs, few are actually upset over the...”
– EzraKlein Archive | The American Prospect
Most bloggers and average people alike tend to think we’re able to know whatever we need to know about whatever we need to know about. For bloggers, this is an institutional bias— if you’re not a reporter, your belief in the worthiness of your blogging is...
“from now on the only thing i’m pimping is sweet lady propane, and...”
– hank hill. i’m pretty sure i’ve posted this quote before, but it’s one of my favorites, and this episode was just on.
so far:
pen exploded on me at the bank. my hands are covered in blue ink, and i have little blue spots on my chin. the ink won’t budge. i look like i murdered a smurf with my bare hands.
today is a ridiculously busy day anyway because of insane holiday deadlines, but massive computer problems are making it worse.
one of my coworkers just told me she’s quitting!
