pure idiot mystery

jakoblodwick:

rickyv:

I’m shorting the word “douche.”

After a strong resurgence in 2005 and showing strong staying power through 2007, its day has come. Lately most of the people I’ve seen use it fit into two categories, or a combination of both:

1) people over 40 who have finally had the word passed down the cool chain from their younger friends and co-workers

2) the “douches” originally being described themselves

Pretty soon even the douches won’t be calling people douches, which is when the stock will completely crash.

The worst thing about “douche” is that it lacks a clear meaning. Calling someone an “asshole” means something. So do “loser” and “jerk”. But when someone says “douche”, it just means “I don’t like them, but am too lazy to articulate why”. Maybe that person is a violent, alcoholic banker on trial for rape, or maybe he’s a pot head from the midwest who writes about conspiracies on his blog.

“I don’t like ‘em and I’m not sayin’ why.”

 i actually think “loser” and “jerk” are far more vague than “douche.” and i think “douche” has a pretty clear meaning — “man, that guy is lame. i bet he could be used to irrigate a vagina.”

i do say it far too often though. but if i stop saying it, what will fill the douche-sized hole in my vocabulary?